This post originated in a question Robert Scoble asked me when I replied to his post regarding the blocking of Joel Comm’s facebook account. Robert asked me how I define a friend, after I remarked that I seriously doubt that anyone can have thousands of them.

I think that some background is required first…

I think that I owe my involvement in marketing and it’s relation to socializing to the fact that in my early twenties I was partner in the ownership of one of Jerusalem’s night clubs and was in charge of promotion and marketing. I spent my days walking the streets of Jerusalem, touting my parties, and flirting with chicks. It was a good life : )

I always pride myself that I knew at least a few rudimentary facts about the people I was chatting with and inviting to my parties and that I cared about them too. I remembered their names, whether they were involved in a relationship, when was the last time they’d come to a party, what they’re favorite drink was, what music they were in to, where they worked, and a whole lot of other facts and data about them.

I think that it was this aggregation of data, and my ability to retrieve it, was what allowed me to define these people as my “Friends”. A friend is someone you care about. Care requires not only knowledge but also the ability to process that knowledge in order to formulate action based on an appropriate emotional response. Over the years I owned a club this ability suffered a natural erosion due to the exponential increase in the amount of people I had to relate to and my fatigue with the night life scene. When I could no longer contain and process the required info I realized I had exceeded my capacity for “Friendship”. It went downhill from there.

After four years in the club industry I had reached a point where my relationships with my friends - the people I was inviting to my parties had become entirely 2 dimensional: “HI! GREAT SEEING YA!!! YOUS’ COMING FRIDAY RIGHT?”

We all know the type…

I made myself sick.

This wasn’t why I got into the business.
This wasn’t me.
I’d sold out & I knew it.
So I left.

I’ll say this much in my defense - two weeks ago A FRIEND from back then found me on Twitter. He remembered me as Mike from Club ____ & I remembered him, including who his posse was, what he liked to listen to, and where his business was located.

So what is a friend?
A friend is someone you have a positive emotional reaction to and some form of ongoing relationship with. A friend is a collection of positive memories and feelings you have. Someone that triggers a positive emotional response. Someone you are willing and inclined to communicate with, relate to, help out, make an effort for. Someone who feels and relates to you the same way.

My experience is that you can have this kind of relationship with about 500 people at the most. For better or for worse friendship isn’t scalable…
Mike
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A few days ago Robert Scoble posted on his blog a moving post lamenting, what he perceives as the “scandalous” banning of Joel Comm by Facebook.

Here’s a newsflash:
I know that for Scoble and his “Whale” (apparently a Facebook whale is someone who has attained Facebook Nirvana and reached the 4,999 friend limit) set friends, it seems hard to believe, but the world won’t end despite the diabolical silencing of Joel Comm by the “evil and all powerful” Facebook.

For most of us good ole’ everyday folk, the kind Facebook was designed for, the kind that don’t worry about the limitations because we’ll never ever reach, or even get close to them, the kind that use Facebook for what it was intended - networking with FRIENDS (does anyone really believe you can have 4999 of those?) none of this really matters much.

Don’t get me wrong. If you are on the social web to make a noise and promote yourself - by all means go ahead have a ball. I ain’t gonna stand in your way. God knows I’m guilty of the same sins.

If you’re good at it, well whoop-de-doo for you, write a book.
Hell, I might buy it.

My only reservation is: Don’t come crying to momma (or Robert Scoble) when the services you’re MANIPULATING for you’re own private gain shut you down. They were never designed for what you are doing and they have every right to protect themselves from people like you.

Don’t get me wrong - I commiserate with Joel Comm’s (apparently short lived) distress, it’s just that I don’t think this is the drama Robert Scoble played it up to be. Just between you and me, knowing Comm’s after reading his impressive biography, I doubt he does either…

Cheers,Mike
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As an artist, there’s always an interest in what other people are working on, what kind of new styles are being invented, as well as the curiosity of how your work stands up against everyone else’s. There’s also the aspect of getting your work out there for others to see and comment on. With Candor Gallery we’ve created a simple gallery in electronic form that we hope addresses these dynamics and creates an outlet for artists along with a venue for art viewers.

Candor Gallery is an OS X based Widget that displays a rotating selection of artwork each time you open your Dashboard. Anyone can submit to the project and have their work displayed on the Widget. All types of art are accepted and encouraged: Painting, Design, Drawing, Photography, Sculpture, etc.

The basis for Candor Gallery has always been to have that quick ability to see new and interesting work at a moment’s notice, whether for pure enjoyment, inspiration, or to see what other people are up to. As a result, you also have a wide audience that you can share with and show off to. So Candor really provides a two-way street for artists and viewers alike.

Many years ago there was a similar project in screensaver form that was floating around the web with much the same premise as Candor. Unfortunately, that project was very short-lived. Still, it was such a great concept and inspiration that we wanted to carry on the idea of sharing artwork in an electronic venue to which anyone could contribute to.

We’ve had an excellent response to the project with nearly 2,000 unique works on display. While we currently don’t broker any deals through the widget, we have had artists sell work to patrons who discovered the artist through the widget.

For the future of Candor Gallery we hope to expand beyond the widget and build a more web-based application where contributors can manage their own space as a type of personal portfolio or just a place to share work in a more elegant manner compared to other options on the web.

Currently Candor Gallery is available for download as an OS X Widget and a Google Gadget. Visitors can also view the entire collection on our website on the Gallery page. We’re always accepting new submissions and encourage new artists to send in their work for display.

Mike
Twitter | Flickr | Facebook | MySpace | Picasa | Delicious

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